Posted on: 21 December 2018
Being the spouse of a member of the military certainly has its good times, but it can also present numerous challenges. Ideally, you and your spouse will be able to work through any issues that you're facing, but it's also possible that you may feel as though divorce is the best outcome for you. Divorce is never easy, but your situation can present unique challenges — especially if your spouse is deployed when you decide to divorce him or her. You can wait until your spouse returns home to make this announcement, or share this news now. Here are some pros and cons of not waiting.
Pro: Waiting May Seem Unfair
When you decide that you want to file for divorce, suppressing this thought as you attempt to continue to live normally can be draining. It's also arguably unfair to your spouse, with whom you may have several conversations — but not talk about your decision to divorce — as you wait for the deployment to end. If you share your intention while your spouse is deployed, he or she cannot later on accuse you of carrying on as though nothing was up.
Con: It Can Distract Him/Her
You have to realize that telling your deployed spouse about your decision to file for divorce will be upsetting and distracting to him or her, which can be detrimental if your spouse is in harm's way. The last thing that you might want when your spouse is in a dangerous area is for his or her mind to be distracted to the point that it puts him or her at risk.
Pro: You Can Get Things Moving
Divorce isn't exactly a quick process, so when you decide that you're ready to move on with your life, it's advantageous for you to start the process. This means hiring a divorce attorney and beginning to evaluate your assets, what custody arrangement suits you, and other similar details. Even if your spouse is deployed, there's no reason that he or she cannot contribute to these steps via email or video chat, which can help the entire process to move along.
Con: He/She May Be Uncooperative
If one spouse is uncooperative during a divorce, your attorney can dispatch a process server or other legal professional — or appeal to the spouse's attorney — to convey the message that cooperating would be in everyone's best interest. This is more difficult when your spouse might be halfway across the world, and this can lead to more frustrations than if your spouse were back at home.
For more information, reach out to a divorce lawyer.Share